Friday, June 4, 2010


I sit here alone trying to think but I can't thanks to the internet. I am reading people comments on my blog and nairaland. My friend generously put up a link to my site and I am quite happy some people care enough to respond. Some hurl insults at me, some doubt my sincerity others hope I get better. Getting genuine love from strangers feels good kind of, atleast I am not a freak. I won't bore anyone with a long write up. I write to make me feel better so it seems selfish to keep writing.

What is the point of writing this now, I will never know. I am bored, its a friday night, I feel lonely. Gosh I feel so lonely. Everyone wants me to come to them, stay the weekend they say but I rather die than have someone pity me. All I get these days is pity, kpele all the damn time mscheww like that will make it okay. I am not hateful, please dont get me wrong, I just don't want to be anyone's sorry case. An old school mate, told my sister that I was not smart enough. I should have done this, that or that, whatever he is gone so that advice is useless to me isn't it?

I have been eating alot these days. Adding weight so I am thinking I should revisist the gym. I used to be sexy, now I don't know the clothes don't fit. My dad has been the best comforter, he shared his own pain before meeting mummy and insists that I will get better. So maybe I would try to loose some weight, join a society in church anything to make me better. I may travel to Nigeria during the holidays, meet up with old friends who knows what I might find.

Quickly, let me say that when I said "hello boys" in my last post I did not mean it. My sister thinks I am going to become someone that I am not. That is not the case and I am not smoking or drinking. I am eating, pizzas, burgers all the works thats my addiction, hence the need for a gym. Okay I have nothing else to say, if I feel like talking I will blog. Please dont call me, I am fine, I just need to recover. Yesterday's intimacy was a mistake, I feel like crap. Okay I have said it, don't judge me, let me watch my movie in peace. A pirated version of prince of persia on is all I need. Maybe I will feel better tommorow. I am determined to get through this, just that it hurts so much today. Friday night used to be an event, now its just a waste of time. Let me watch this movie.


  1. Anyone know a good gym in Croydon, south london please recommend! tks.

  2. Hey, just came across your blog
    I have been through a very similar situation and let me tell you that in a few months time, u will look back on this experience and laugh.
    In the process of getting over him, you are going to make a lot of mistakes, dont feel bad cause we are all human and no one is above mistakes.
    Dont let people fool you that it is easy to get over someone, it takes time and its not easy to get over someone u were considering sharing the rest of your life with, but it is possible with GOD on your side.
    In a way you should be grateful to God that u didn't marry aina and then found out all this jagbajantis later on in your marriage.
    As per the gym, I will recommend the virgin active gym in west croydon, the gym is located in the cinema complex in the shopping center area. Staff are really awesome there

  3. Thanks Sola u are a life saver. Break ups are very hard but am learning 2 cope, loving me again its hard but it will pass. Thanks 4 d gym recommendation. U rock!